It’s been a crazy couple of months, so I haven’t written as much as I would have liked. Truth be told, I was conquering some fear. I thought I would share that experience with all of you.
Growing up, I was very involved with music. Singing was always a passion of mine, and I began playing guitar and writing music at the age of 14. It was the ultimate outlet for me and one that I needed to let out a lot of pain I had been going through.
I did a lot of things with my music in the town I grew up in. I played gigs all around town and even frequently got radio play on our local radio stations. But no matter how good you are at something, you’re never going to be everyone’s cup of tea. So when I continued to hit roadblock after roadblock, I started to wonder why I was even bothering. I forgot the entire reason why I got started in the first place. I based my music on what other’s opinions were of me instead of just writing from the heart and making my music my own. And so, by the age of 19, I hit a horrible writer’s block. Not long after, my road to addiction would take over for nearly 8 years. In 2004, I ended up pawning my guitar.
“You’ll get another one someday,” the man behind the counter said. He could obviously see the pain in my eyes.
It would take 15 years for me to pick up a guitar again. And finally, after a lot of work on myself and eight years of sobriety under my belt, I lost my writer’s block and wrote my first song with a cheap guitar that a friend had given me. Something in me came back to life, and the following week I went out and bought a new guitar.
As I payed for my new Fender at the register, I shared some of my story with the clerk in the music store. We talked for a while, and he could see how important this purchase was for.
“This is a really big day for you, huh?” he asked.
I nodded and began to cry.
A couple of months ago, I got back into the recording studio and put my heart into my next two singles. The first one was released this week.
“Fooling Yourself” is a song that I wrote about a man that I watched die from this disease. He was someone who everyone saw as “the clown” but I always saw as someone who was heading towards his grave. He was found dead from an overdose a few years ago.
I hope my followers will take a moment to listen to my release and think about someone you know who couldn’t come to terms with this disease. It makes me grateful and humble that I have been able to live this sober life.
My song can be streamed or purchased at the links below.